The chances that you are reading this article may indicate that you are faced with the following question, “ How can I help my child cope with our divorce ? “ I would like to add that you are not alone. Many parents and family members struggle on what is the best approach when it comes to discussing the breakup of their family unit. Some children may be mature enough to understand that their parents divorced due to irreconcilable differences. Which basically means that the married couple was faced with significant differences and the marriage was no longer workable and was beyond resolution. Other children may be fortunate to be able to afford professional counseling to help them cope with the divorce.
However the majority of parents will need to find a way to sit down and make the best effort on helping their child handle the divorce and the changes that come with it. Parents need to understand that their child is a victim of their divorce.
Below is a list of possible approaches parents can utilize to help their children.
• Do not batch the other parent by reverting to name-calling.
• Determine the maturity of your child and explain to them in terms they can comprehend what has transpired.
• Be patient and comfort your child by saying, “…even though mom and dad have divorce, we still love you and that will never change.” Most importantly, make sure your child knows that they were not the cause of the breakup. Many times children will second-guess themselves by asking, “What could I have done differently to prevent this?”
• If you have more than one child, take the time to spend individual time with each. Each child will react differently to the divorce; therefore, you need to ensure you address their special needs.
• Invite or accept help from family members the child trust. They need all the support you are able to provide. Remember children are often the ones that take the news worse, even though some may not show it.
• Never stop parenting and always allow them to continue to be children.
• Never, never make the child choose between parents.
• Do not use your child as a pawn. Their life is not a game; therefore, do not risk their welfare in ways to get one over your ex-spouse.
• Do not hinder the relationship between your child and your ex-spouse. Your child has the right to bond with both mom and dad.
Our family law firm in Orange, CA is ready to help with your divorce case. Our law firm is staffed and ready to assist you and your family’s needs. Moreover, we understand dissolution of marriage and are ready to help you cope with the changes.